So I was recently told, through email, that I am a shame to all Muslim women around the world. Why, you ask? Apparently my desire to wear hijab, but my lack of strength to do so has put me in this category. Yes, I would love to wear hijab "full time," but there are things that hold me back. Do I believe this makes me a shame and an embarrassment to all Muslim women? I don't know. . .why don't you tell me :-)
Also, according to said emailer, I am naive because I want to live abroad. For as long as I can remember I've had a dream of traveling the world doing volunteer work. Living in one spot for the rest of life is not appealing to me thanks to my upbringing as a Navy brat. Seems I have gotten all too comfortable with the every 2 to 3 year moves. I have lived abroad before. Five years to be exact. Sicilia is a beautiful place I wouldn't mind living in again. Insha'Allah my desires for such a life will work out. Only time will tell. As of right now, the hubby and I have discussed getting TEFL (Teaching Engligh as a Foreign Language) certified and using this as our ticket to live abroad. Exciting, right?
So anyway, what do you think? Do you see me as a shame or naive? I know I'm not the best Muslim out there. I know there are plenty of things I do and don't do that fill me with guilt and fear, but who's to say who's shameful and who's not? Allah knows best and may Allah forgive said emailer and all others out there who think the same way. May Allah forgive all of us who don't strive for what's best in this world according to Allah. Ameen.
You're not shameful nor naive. Shame on that person for writing that to you.
ReplyDeleteI am the opposite...I never moved until I married my husband and even then it was only 30 minutes away. Now we're preparing to move 4-8 hours away for hubby's graduate program and I am not thrilled about it and my family is almost, well, mad, that we're moving.
ReplyDeleteI have a TEFL/TESOL certificate and a minor in English as a Second Language (I am licensed to teach it in U.S. public schools up through 6th grade) but I kind of hope I never have to use it abroad. Once upon a time I thought it'd be fun to teach in Italy for 2 years through the U.S. Dept. of Defense but that was before my son was born. Now that I've seen how important his grandparents and aunts/uncles, etc. are in his life I can't imagine uprooting him and keeping him away from all of that.
Anyway, sorry, I tend to ramble. I don't think you're a shame. I still struggle with hijab and although I wear it more and more often, it still gets taken off far too often, as well. Sometimes I wear it somewhere but panic before getting out of the car and end up taking it off. I actually think I look better -in it- half the time but it's people's reactions that I'm afraid of.
What an email anyone can receive.It is a shame to get these kind of minds, because they put you off doing things you might have done them with different approach.
ReplyDeleteI mean some people put you off religion by this kind of behaviour. While other people actions towards you give you a good push towards doing it..subhana Allah..
The best with whatever decision you make. I always go back to Allah and supplicate Him for any movement and praying that He'd show me the right path I should initiate..
Thank you lovies for your insightful comments. I don't even think this person who emailed me is even Muslim. In fact, she once told me she is more into science and does not like religions. Never once was I rude to her, but in every email I received from her she would find a way to insult me. It became so pathetic. I eventually blocked her on Facebook and then she sent me an email to my personal email account! I was like OMG! LoL I didn't even respond. . .just deleted and blocked her again. I think it's her life mission at this point to bring me down, but, alhamdullilah, I know better than her. So sad the way some people in this world behave. Are they not embarrassed in the slightest? Thanks again for reading and responding to this post. Thanks for reading and not responding also :-)
ReplyDeleteSalam to all!
Oh, Nikki! I want to ask: Where did you get TEFL certified? I'm looking at i-to-i. Any advice?
ReplyDeleteAs a senior citizen who has struggled with some of what you are now struggling with, I feel qualified to tell you the following:
ReplyDeleteThat you are a thoughtful, sensitive person. Only a rigid, unquestioning person would not think deeply about matters such as hijab. Eventually, you will craft a solution that resonates with your spirit, but don't be surprised if that solution changes over the years!
That your desire to live abroad is to be respected. As you get older, you will not regret doing that things that called to you repeatedly. You will regret not trying.
Nikki's comment is important. Once you have kids, your families ties might feel much stronger. Kids and grandparents have a right on each other.
I'm glad I discovered your lovely blog.
Angel,
ReplyDeleteI'm not sure what to say. I don't want to say anything to offend you and wish you didn't want to offend me as well. That picture of me was taken before my belief in Islam came about. It is not my flickr account so I have no right to delete it. May Allah forgive me for anything I've done that is wrong in my life and may he forgive us all for our sins. Ameen.
Also, why do you insist on bashing me? Oh, and I thought your beliefs were science based and you are not Muslim? Now you are a Muslim? Just be honest for once and say who you really are because this is getting ridiculous.
For anyone wondering about the comment above to Angel,
ReplyDeleteShe left a comment with a link to a picture of me taken a couple years ago. I was in a bathing suit and little white dress that I do not want anyone to see. I was able to get the picture(s) deleted off the site she posted, but, just in case, deleted the entire comment for that sole purpose as not to spread the link around.
salaams lovely,
ReplyDeleteAs you may have noticed im going through your older posts that I never read =P
Listen, never let anyone make you feel bad for who you are. Is hijab required, yes. Does you not wearing it make you a bad person, NO.
We all have our struggles, this is what makes us human. No one is perfect. Try to focus on your desire to wear hijab and inshaAllah you will. The closer you get to Allah, the more you will want to please him and that includes putting on hijab. Before I wore hijab I had a hundred reasons why I couldnt wear hijab. I wanted to, but I couldnt.... Or could I, but I just wasnt ready? Fear held me back. Once I overcame that fear I was able to put on the hijab and not worry about what others thought. I stopped worrying about finding a job, or what my parents would think etc. And you know what? It was hard... BUT.... my family got over it and now accept me for the way I am. I found a great job back in the states during grad school which shocked me because the family was catholic (I was a nanny). What is helpful is remembering that whats meant to be will be. If you are meant to get a certain job, regardless if you wear hijab, niqab, or nothing you will get it. Anyway, Im appalled that a muslim sister would send such an email. This is not the way to make dawah =(